Backhanded Compliment? You’re Much Prettier in Person!
I was talking to a gorgeous local Houston celebrity – a popular news anchor who is absolutely stunning on TV. But there’s something about the TV makeup that causes her to look a bit plastic. So when I saw her in person I thought to myself that her warmth and beauty was so much more apparent in person.
At that point someone else came up to her and said (for probably the umpteenth time) “Oh you are so much prettier in person.” I thought those words but didn’t say it. She turned to me and I told her that I get the same comment, all the time. She replied that she thought it was a backhanded compliment of sorts. She wondered if she looked that bad on TV that so many people said it to her.
I told her that people that see me in photos and then in person always comment the same thing to me. I just am not that photogenic. Sometimes I take a good photo, but more often than not, I look heavier, older, or have a non-natural smile or look.
People are usually pleasantly surprised to see me in the flesh and tell me those dreaded words, “You are much prettier in person.” Or even worse, “Have you lost weight?” Another backhanded compliment if I ever heard one, and one I have written about in previous blogs.
True, my weight fluctuates because I am in that prime menopausal era of bloating, weight gain and sometimes I control it well, and other times I look puffy. And you know the camera adds weight, right? I can only stand at certain angles these days otherwise I look like I weight 200 pounds more than I do.
However, I think the real reason that people think I am prettier in person is that to meet me is to get a sense of my warmth, my real smile, and my friendliness. That is what makes me truly attractive, not the blond hair thing or anything else. Ads I have always told my daughter (with a Beauty and the Beast theme since she was three or four years old) – it is MUCH more important to be beautiful on the inside than the outside. Being beautiful on the inside radiates on the exterior anyway, as far as I am concerned.
I am sure the same is true for that beautiful anchor. She seems like a warm, nice, genuinely caring individual. So her inner beauty radiates in person, making her the target of all of those same comments.
What do you think? Should that comment create insecurity, as it does for a highly successful anchorwoman and myself? Or is it actually a good compliment? Would love your comments and feedback!