Calming Long Distance Elderly Dad’s Storm Fears with Three Little Pigs Story

Calming Long Distance Elderly Dad’s Storm Fears with Three Little Pigs Story

Posted by Arlene Lassin at 9/10/2008 6:30 PM CDT

Me: “Hi Dad, what’s up?
Dad: “I just saw the news. (Which I can hear through the phone absolutely blaring in the background at the loudest volume possible, but I shouldn’t talk – with all the rock concerts I go to, it won’t be long before I’m doing that too)
It looks like Houston’s going to get hit with this killer storm.” (slight panic in his voice)
Me: “Haven’t we gone over this before Dad?  I am far inland, and we will be fine.”
Dad: “But the cone of uncertainty…”
Me: “Cone, did you say cone? Remember Dad, when you used to buy me those soft ice cream cones with sprinkles and within minutes it was a melting mess all over my hands, arms, and clothes?” (Obvious distraction tactic)
Dad: “I just saw all those houses in the Caribbean broken into pieces. I think you should evacuate. You don’t want to take a chance that the storm will hit where you live.”
Me: “Dad, do you remember the three little pigs story?”
Dad: (sounding confused) “The one I used to do with your toes? “This little piggy went to market…” (ending in wee, wee, wee, all the way home and foot tickles)
Me: (Patiently) No Dad, the fairy tale about the three little pigs.
Dad: “Yeah, I think I sort of remember that.”
Me: “Well, this big bad Ike can huff and puff and blow all he wants, but I live in a sturdy brick house, not the one of straw or sticks. So I am safe. No wood, Dad, just solid brick.”
Dad: “Brick houses are safe?”
Me: “Yes, Dad, brick houses, well inland, are safe.” (I didn’t go into how many huge trees we have right by our house that also has big picture windows, but then again, do I really want to worry my elderly dad with the interior closet plan?)
Dad: “Well, okay…”
(Until the next national news program comes on. Then repeat.)

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