Grandma Envy is a Terrible Thing

Some of my best friends are doing me a terrible injustice. In fact they are downright torturing me on a regular basis.

What kind of friends are those?

Actually they can’t help it. They have become grandmoms, and I am reduced to living vicariously through them.

I am loving up their babies like no tomorrow. First was Ama who had three consecutive cuties in a row that I drooled over. After two close friends’ recent visits of the grandbabies, it was time to admit my open envy.

Yes, I officially have grandma envy. I want one of those grandbabies – one of those soft, adorable, lifesize dolls.

With my shopaholic ways, if I want something, I buy it. This of course is not that easy.

My kids are still young, and I taught them SO well to put careers before the marriage and kids thing. One is on his way in his first year as an associate in a prestigious law firm and the other is in her last half year of graduate school – having already passed her boards (YES!) with a promising career as a therapist awaiting her.

So there’s plenty to revel in, to appreciate, and to feel a sense of satisfaction as a parent.

Now let’s compare discussing those careerst to having a BABY of one of your babies. One of those sweet, powder-smelling, smiling, chubby-bubbly real life babies like this cutie.

I WANT ONE.

My friends not only got to celebrate their children finding life mates but they now have the bonuses from those unions- adorable babies to hold, love, spoil and brag about.

Have I expressed how much I want one?

Oh for those sweet potato noses! As a grandma, you get to love them up, kiss their chubby thighs, play with them and then Give Them Back.

Now do I want either of my kids to take a detour on their paths? No. Do I want them to rush into a relationship and marriage and parenthood to satisfy their envious mom? No. Am I going to start pressuring them once the marriage is a done deal? Hell YES.

(It is important here to note that I do not want my OWN baby – been there, done that waaaay too long ago to start again. I want one of those models that is returnable at the end of the day)

To prove how hungry I am for these babies, the minute I get my hands on visiting Jaden, which was approximately 30 seconds after saying hello to his mom and grabbing him, I was munching on his chubby cheeks and thighs while he flirted with me with a toothless grin. DELICIOUS!

And then I go running to a local carnival to spend a morning with this delightful Taylor Paige!

I am planning to visit another long distance friend and one of the requirements was getting to meet her grandson who I admire from Facebook and other photos sent to me. I can’t wait to get my arms wrapped around him!

I have the Grandma plan all figured out: I will be called Bubbie, and I also plan on being the hippest, coolest, blondest Bubbie possible. I will borrow the little ones any time I wish and get all of my baby wishes filled. Though at the rate I am going, I may be a lot older and so therefore not so hip and cool – and maybe white hairmixed in with the blond.

In the meantime, I will continue to live through my friends and delight in their little ones.  I give my kids five years till the pressuring begins!

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