Salad Days Ahead, Four Weeks Till Reunion and Dress is Snug!

Yes, I am this old. I am about to go to my 40th High School reunion. I am traveling back to the city of my childhood to have fun reminiscing and socializing with a diverse group of people that are as sentimental about the old high school days as I am.

I’ve got the perfect little black dress picked out – not too dressy, not too casual, and now I just have to fit into it. I often buy garments well in advance of the event when I see a good deal, and the dress fit me beautifully this past fall before I gained my winter weight. I am sure no one from the Northeast HS class of 1972 will mind me being a bit zaftig, but this is all about the dress as you will read on.

I do this every year since I turned the big 5-0. My winter expansion is from being outdoors less, exercising less, spending free time eating more, etc. I complain and blog about it every year too. I call it my Puffy Season.

My husband, who is honest to a fault – to the point where I wish to physically harm him due to his frankness – told me, “Don’t worry, you are just big boned.” He claimed he was joking as I leaped for his jugular, but I am not so sure. (Remind me to keep those ragged edges going on my nails because he loves to get his back scratched and I want to hurt him. JUST KIDDING in case you don’t understand my sarcasm)

The Slim Away belt didn’t exactly work either so I have some major work to do to get into that cute little Max Azaria dress in four weeks. Using another dress is out of the question – this dress is THE ONE for this event. There can be NO other!

The problem is that it is going to require willpower, one of the things I severely lack. With just four weeks looming I realize that I c-a-n-n-o-t eat with abandon as per usual. Darn it! I actually have to stop shoveling food down my gullet, at least in the quantities I am used to.

Speaking of quantities, I went to this seminar where everyone had to introduce themselves with something VERY UNIQUE about themselves. One woman said she had twins. Real unique? NOT. (okay, maybe a little but I have a friend who has QUADRUPLETS for goodness sakes.)

But at any rate, another woman introduced herself and said “I eat like a man – big man-sized portions.” I looked at her tiny body and my jaw dropped. She was MY twin! (except she was a size 2 and I am not discussing my current size)

Of course I couldn’t use that same unique characteristic, so I said something lame like I interviewed Steven Spielberg in person once and he was a great guy.

I should have challenged her to a duel over food portion at the luncheon later that day, but it probably would have confused her since I had the whole Spielberg story going and she didn’t have a clue I could give her a run for her money in the eating department.It’s the quantity that always catches up to me. I have the proverbial bottomless pit, hollow leg, man-sized appetite. I out-eat my husband all the time and he is amazed.

Back to the four week thing. The original plan was to enroll in boot camp for two or three months to be svelte for early May. It usually takes me to Memorial Day or early June when I start swimming to drop the LB’s. But the boot camp idea fell by the wayside, because I am too busy.

So for me it is truly the Salad days ahead. I will resist. In fact, I had my last man-sized margarita last night. Wish me luck! And classmates, don’t even mention it if the pretty little black dress looks a bit snug.

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