The Agony of De Feet – Fallen Arches
Okay, I know I made a big deal that us middle-agers spend full evenings out discussing various medical problems in my Whine and Fine Wine blog, and vowed not to fall into that trap again. But this might not even qualify as a medical issue, though my friend Dr. Sherman Nagler – a podiatrist- might disagree.
Lately I have felt like Cinderella’s evil stepsisters trying to squeeze into her dainty glass slipper because none of my shoes fit me right now.
Imagine my surprise a month ago when I saw these gorgeous shoes in my normal size. Now keep in mind, my “normal size” is the one I settled on post-pregnancies, which was a full size above what I wore as a younger adult. The size was already pushing the limit on being a “bigfoot.” There is nothing attractive about wearing a huge size if you are a woman. My feet were large – another genetic bonus – to begin with, so this is getting ridiculous.
Anyway, back to the new shoes: I tried them on, and found myself pushing and shoving my feet to get into them. I finally squeezed in, and my feet were screaming to get out.
This is what went through my brain at the time: “My feet are swollen from being in sandal- type shoes and flip-flops most of the summer.” OR “My feet are swollen from eating too much salt yesterday.” OR “I am bloated and it is affecting my feet.”
So I went back and tried on the shoes a week later after watching my salt intake all week. Same result. This time it dawned on me that I was no longer my regular shoe size anymore.
I then went to try on shoes in my closet. It was true – this shopaholic who buys shoes randomly and excessively, now has a closet filled with beautiful shoes that are too small.
Is that shopaholic payback or what?
Actually, I understand it is a case of fallen arches, or flat feet,m which can happen at mid-life. This is not a painful condition, I am somewhat athletic and walk everyday, as well as participate in a variety of dance and other aerobic activities and am still able to do so comfortably. My friend, Dr. Nagler says that a hormone named “relaxin” (true fact and not made up) causes the flatter feet and if it is not painful, I do not have to worry.
WAIT A MINUTE: I am plenty worried – what about all my shoes???
I can’t fit into my old shoes many of which are in perfect condition. If you think DSW has a lot of shoes, you haven’t visited my room- sized master closet.
Here’s a test to see if your arches have fallen: Wet your foot and make a footprint on a
pavement outside. If your footprint does not include a narrow strip connecting the heal to the toes, your arches have fallen. My footprint has a very wide margin connecting the heal and toes. Easy diagnosis here.
Speaking of flat, I was offered a discounted keratin hair treatment six months ago due to a feature I wrote. This caused me to be stuck with flat hair for a very long time. At my age, I need a bit of “hair volume” to frame the aging face. With flat feet, and flat hair, I feel like “Flat Stanley.” (remember that character from the
kid’s book that went on adventures?) Just call me “Flat Arlene.” It is finally wearing out, thankfully.
Wait, I am not exactly flat, girth-wise either. I already talked about the cleavage and my spare tire around the middle is something I have tried to return to Firestone the minute it appeared at menopause, but they refused to take it back.
Complainer? Whiner? Not me. No, not me. Just lovin’ Middle Age!
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