The Great Comment Contest! And The Devil’s Secret Pact with Women

Have I ever told my blog readers how much I love and appreciate you? No? Well, it is about time then!

Introducing my first COMMENT contest, where you must enter a comment on my ACTUAL BLOG (NOT FACEBOOK OR TWITTER) to be entered to win a valuable gift card. The gift card is to one of my favorite stores that I have mentioned frequently in my blogs. Read below to find out the rules.

I am a low pressure kind of gal. I know how busy you all are, so I don’t bother you to LEAVE COMMENTS on my blog. In fact, though many, many are reading regularly, my comments average a mere handful – or less.

I know you have a voice, and I respect your right not to use it on my comments. But now you can get rewarded for breaking tradition!

Here is how it works.I am re-running one of my personal very favorite blogs called “Women’s Secret Pact With the Devil.” Make a comment on this particular piece of writing or about my Hot Flashes Blog in general to be entered in the contest. Say whatever you wish! Leave your email address (which is hidden from the comment feed for your protection) and use an anonymous name if you wish. Note that you can always leave a comment WITHOUT an email address but these won’t be counted in the contest because I have to be able to contact the winner.

If I get 25 comments or more up to 49, I will send a $25 gift card. If I get 50 comments up to 99, I will send a $50 gift card to the winner. If I get 100 comments or more, I will send a $100 gift card to the winner. (That’s the limit dollar-wise!)  If this contest is a bust and I do not get at least 25 comments, nothing happens! So encourage your friends by sending them a link and tell them to comment too.  Send to friends of friends of friends! Share on Facebook! Twitter it! Go crazy! Facebook friends – your comment on FB will not count, but do let me know you have entered once you commented on the actual blog site! (Directions on how to comment if you have never done so is below with rules.)

The winner will be selected at random. I will print out the comments, cut them into strips, put them in a hat, and have my husband pull one lucky winner.

The deadline for commenting is 7 days after the blog first runs. After that, no commenter will be eligible for the price.

OTHER IMPORTANT RULE: Only ONE entry per email address to make it fair to all. Most of us do not ever have a 1-100 opportunity to win a prize worth $100.!!!!

Directions to comment on the blog if you have never done so: It is EASY. At the bottom of each of my blogs are some icons to share the blog, including links to Facebook and twitter. Directly below that is a line of text with a hotlink to comments. If it says 0 comments, click on that, if it says 5 comments, still click on that. It will bring up the comment form. (Leave a Reply) After you enter your information, click on POST COMMENT.

Now you might say I am bribing people to read my blog. Not really. I am just bribing for the comments, as I know you are out there reading! If you enjoy my blog  but have never commented, this is the one time I am asking you to! It could be worth your time and effort!

The more the merrier as we have to get to at least 25 comments to make this a go.

Good luck! And here below is one of my very favorite blogs on that wonderful era of menopause – women and men will surely enjoy it and laugh –

Women’s Secret Pact with the Devil

Previously published blog written by Arlene Nisson Lassin

Even though I constantly explain that the title of my blog is a play on words meaning my hot topics to rant, reflect, or reminisce about, if you happened upon my blog by Googling Menopausal Hot Flashes, today and just today, you will have come to the right site.

Don’t leave though. Because I have made an important – perhaps monumental discovery.

I am willing to admit that hormones affect everyone differently. They are powerful chemicals that are naturally produced and affect body and mind. Some have an easier time with things like the monthly cycle while others are in agony or have horrific PMS each month. Some struggle with postpartum depression and other symptoms after birth, and others, like the crazy Duggar lady spit out babies out with nary a hormonal care. (Others may think she has hormones gone out of control however, much like many men in the news recently, such as John Edwards)

So maybe it is just my luck, but I am having a hard time with menopause. That perma-smile you see by my blog photo? I am a natural smiler, however, it has been wiped off my face as of late due to annoying symptoms.

It is just recently while struggling with this, that I figured out something.

That is, in order for women to have the parts and hormones to partake in the greatest privilege of all- giving birth, or even to have the opportunity to do so, women have made a pact with the devil.

Devil: (Smiling and rubbing his red wiry hands together) So you want the ability to grow a human in your body?  That miracle can be arranged, but first let’s make a deal. I will allow you to have all the beautiful babies you want, but once you hit your mid forties, your body belongs to me!

Typical mom in childbearing years: Hey look, I have put up with the monthly “curse” for all these years, how could it be any worse? I agree to your deal!

Typical mom in menopausal age: Remind me again when I signed up for this Hell?

I hope to the almighty that I am not still in the pre-menopausal phase, because despite my vigorous vitamin regimen and good health, I am losing the battle against my hormones or lack thereof. This thing is wearing me down, beating me down, taking my chipper, youthful soul and stomping it to extinction.

When women go to doctors with the long list of hideous symptoms, they (in an agreement with the same devil) either give you hormones that may or may not harm your health later, or they give you anti-depressants. It seems that anti-depressants not only make you happier about the state of utter misery your body is in, but they help with other symptoms such as insomnia.(Have I mentioned that I am writing this at 4:30 am?)

Yes, these symptoms are extremely depressing, but I am not ready for an anti-depressant, and like I was determined to go with natural childbirth, I wanted to go natural through menopause too.

I had no idea how hard that would be and am about to wave the white flag.

Hear me: it is impossible – I said impossible- to ignore these symptoms, to bear them with strength, resolve, and good humor. I must have been hallucinating thinking I could breeze through this. Edith Bunker couldn’t and neither can I. No one can even tell you how long it might last.

In the meantime: Has anyone seen my brain? It seems to be among the missing at various times when I need it most. Description in case you find it: Gray mattered in color, occasionally witty, creative, literary.

And: Some old lady body has hijacked my athletic body and even a summer of swimming isn’t getting it back.

Me: Please take this spare tire back. I don’t need or want it, even if it was on sale

Man at Firestone: Look lady, for the third time, we don’t take returns on belly tires.

Also: Can anyone sell me a new body thermostat? Mine is completely dysfunctional causing me to sweat for the first time in my life, and vary wildly between burning hot and freezing cold.

The other day when fans were on sale at Walgreen’s, the lady checking me out with my multiple fan purchase looked at me kind of funny.

I hear the devil laughing his evil laugh right now.

35 comments

  • Great blog…and boy can I relate! Survival technique: Homemade snow cones! I bought a cheap snow cone maker and make several during the day. I tried lots of sugar free syrups, but find that the best option is diet cranberry juice at 5 calories for 8 oz. I use only a couple of ounces at a time! I even took my snow cone machine to Hawaii; it beat having to spend $5 on a “shave ice.”

  • Funny! No more flannel anything for me anymore – I sleep with at least one foot out of the covers – it seems to lower the body thermostat a bit. One thing you didn’t mention – the hormonal effect on hair growth, as in hair now grows in weird places, one little spike at a time!

  • It’s been four years since my hysterectomy which sent me spiraling into menopause (sp?). I have to laugh now when anyone describes themselves as premenopausal because I still have no clue what that was. I love reading your blogs Arlene!

  • Haven’t gotten to menopause yet and definitely not looking forward to it but The Devil’s Secret Pact With The Women is great and I enjoyed reading it! Keep the blogging coming!

  • Not only do you know how to wield a pen, your wit is sharp and your subjects always make me laugh. Keep ’em coming!

  • I love reading your blog! Always brings a smile. Thanks.

  • 6 months ago, menopause reared its ugly head on me as well! My poor husband… I’m hot, I’m cold… can’t sleep. Do you have a metallic taste in your mouth too?
    I am determined to survive this as my mom did and all of our female ancestors… but my resolve is dissolving.
    Well written blog, you have put in words my feelings :)

  • Michelle Colesanti

    I read your blogs all the time. Sometimes for the laugh and sometimes because it feels so good to know I’m not alone in the battles that be. Aging is no fun without others to vent or laugh about it. Keep writing and I’ll keep reading!

  • I always love your blogs!! They keep me laughing. I do share your blogs with Rob when they are about Gary!!

  • you are terrific! I absolutely love Women’s Secret Pact With the Devil–all true and so creatively described!!
    thank you Arlene. Stay cool

  • MMmmm……MENOPAUSE! My 1st hot flash sent me into a whirlwind. Not only did I ‘heat up’ but I became nauseous, anxious and frightened. Soon I began waking up drenched and naked….wondering who did such a thing, stripping me of my nightie! Your comic relief has SO helped me cope and even makes me giggle, while reading your blogs. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Kudos to you, Arlene for all your help, knowing all of us ladies are not alone!!

  • Linda Freedman Block

    I can never pass up a contest!
    Advice to those who have hot flashes and break out in a drenching sweat: Just jog in place and pant as if out of breath and declare loudly enough for everyone nearby to hear, “Whew! Can’t believe I just did a 4 mile run in this heat!”

  • Love your blog. Keeping us laughing makes it easier to get older

  • funny!
    very “Sat. Nite Live” ish humor!
    keep up the good work!

  • Debbie Harper Armstrong

    Arlene, love your blog…The first time I realized I was going through menopause I was standing next to an air condition vent while fanning myself! I went though all of the usual symptoms hot one second and cold the next. I’ve spend the last seven years freezing my husband to death as I slept with a ceiling fan running even in the winter months. I think things are slowing down recently as I ask my husband the other night if he minded if I turned off the fan. ☺

  • Love this blog, read every one! Thanks for the contest and the topic this time!

  • Hotflashes and hormones — like a ride on a roller coaster at the amusement park.

  • I was always a little weird, I guess. Never really got bad cramps or moody when I got my period. Never got sick or threw up during my pregnancies. And when menopause hit (I guess it hit, because my tampon days are over), nothing happened. No sweating, no mood swings, nothing… Lucky, I guess. I must confess that my mid-section is a little thicker and it takes me FOREVER to lose just 3 or 4 pounds, and I am shrinking (just had one of those bone density tests and I lost a half-inch). Also, my hair isn’t as thick as it used to be. Are those things because of menopause? Either way, soon I will be a thick-waisted, bald midget — so keep checking my profile picture for the new me as time goes on!

  • pick meeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • Even though I have nevcr had a baby, menopause is not fun for any women. Have you ever seen the musical the Menopause, it is great and right to the point.

  • I am a late newcomer to what you all are describing. My poor hubby has to put up with my turning the thermostat up to what he calls tropical when I am freezing and 5 minutes later I am freezing him out with an open window. My body has gone from a skinny size 7 to my bulging tummy sized 12 in a very short period of time. I have tried to lose weight and it is more like a losing battle. My brain…it’s turned to mush. Example: I can’t find my glasses. I search the whole house. The whole time they are on top of my head. I am not a candidate for hormone replacement because my mother had breast cancer. The once quiet demeanor I once had is gone. It’s more like: don’t mess with Nadine these days. Sounds like I am not alone in all of this.

  • Love reading your blog, Arlene! You always make me laugh. I can definitely relate to this one in particular. I’m late dealing with menopause and hope it doesn’t last too long!

  • Layers, layers, layers !’. On/off/on /off !!

  • I trained Martin to sleep with the AC on in the middle of winter. Only way to keep from killing someone

  • You nailed the topic, Arlene. I can sooo relate. Last mother’s day, my husband gave me my own personal floor fan with a remote control that stands facing my side of the bed. On, off, on, off – all year round. Crazy!

  • Some lucky people, and I suspect I am one of them, are stuck with menopausal symptoms for the rest of their lives. Winter pajamas? What are they?

  • It became so bad, my air conditioning electric bill tripled in Arizona and everyone that entered my house was handed a blanket so they could be comfortable. You always make me smile. :)

  • Going thru menopause absolutely positively sucks! I’m 56 and just entering the “post” phase. Where’s the exorcist?

  • Arlene, You don’t have to enter my comment in the contest but I did want to up the ante for others…As usual, spot on. You made me laugh and your perspective was one that I had not thought about. Using your take on this, since I had such horrible menstrual cycles I guess that is why my transition to menopause was so uneventful. I guess I forgot to make that pact since I was in hell since I was 11. The part about the body though, yeah I agree. I looked in the mirror the other day and asked myself when my body morphed into one that looked like my mother’s. Keep on writing!!!

  • Menopause is Hell!!!! Especially if you are on the receiving end. I know that it is not fun for you women, but consider the poor guys who have to put up with the ‘covers on/covers off’, screaming tirades followed by cries and sobs, amorous then distant. Wouldn’t be so bad if it was just a month or two, but try two partners over a period of over 15 years!

    Can’t complain too much though, at least the present one recognizes when the envelope has been pushed and acknowledges the more difficult episodes. Much nicer than one who blames ‘YOU’ for what is going on (I didn’t quite get that either).

    Getting near the end I believe as moods are much more level and a wonderful, sweet, loving wife, lover and partner has emerged from her cocoon.

  • Arlene, I always love your blogs because they are easy to relate to. This one brought a smile to my face. I say it isn’teasy, but aging beats the alternative. It’s all about the attitude we choose. Good luck with the contest.

  • Wow, Arlene…Your article really took me back to a time I wish I could forget. I learned to dress in layers, so I could take articles of clothing off when sweating and put back on when cold again. I took an inflated cool down pack to bed to use when I woke up in the middle of the night with hot flashes. I did not use any hormone replacement therapy and I was lucky to get through it within a couple of years. There is one thing I can say about a post menopausal woman, though. She will do and say what she wants to and not worry as much what people think of her. Now that I’ve learned about our secret pact with the devil, when I act a little crazy, I will use the excuse…”The devil made me do it!” :)

  • To be hot or not, that is the question. Whether tis richer to be hot than not is the real question. Right? Not sure, cuz when you are hot, all thought is fraught. I too am in the throws of the men-o-pause which is cause to be hot.
    Love the blog and the fun idea. After all, laughter is what can cool a hot down.

  • Are family members disqualified from the comment contest? Oh, great blog!

  • Arlene, I’ve been going through pre, actual and post menopause for the last (counting on fingers and toes) 16 years. Can’t take hormones as my sister died of breast cancer. Just suffering through it. Poor Phil (and his predecessor – Kit). :)

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