Some Facebook Conundrums
As many of my readers may know, I am the Facebook queen. I am a frequent poster, making snarky comments, posting photos of fun events with my wonderful family and friends, and promoting blogs. Always promoting my writing of some form, always.
Some conundrums (a confusing situation or question that causes me to wonder if it is worth it all) about Facebook have come up lately and I am here to discuss.
- Now when I am at an event, dinner, or any socializing with friends, they will begin their conversation with me after their warm and loving hug and kiss hello, with a command, “No posting on FB.” It seems most are even more critical than I am about their photos and they would only permit a professional, touched-up portrait to represent their image on FB. It’s a little disheartening for me as I like to share. (With about a billion very bad photos of me on FB, I guess I am not that vain – they represent good times.) Or overshare as the case may be, read on.
- I overshare but ONLY to share my good news, happy events, and writing. Therefore, some perhaps unhappy?? people have taken to thinking that I have a charmed life with no stress, no worry, and absolutely no negative things happening at all in my life. I CHOOSE to share only positive, (with the exception of my post flood phase) and this has caused envy and jealousy by some small-minded people. (Please then, just unfollow me instead of being unkind!) Some have told me I brag, but I share honest information about my life and my children; and the FB community as a whole is wonderful and supportive and cheers on everything! That’s why I share: it is a delightful feeling for others to cheer on my happiness! And I do this for others too – it is mutual caring and support, and cheering on! For those who have a problem with my children’s accomplishments, or my vacationing for a month, or whatever else gets on their nerves, I find I don’t need them as a friend –for even a benign thing like a FB friend. I have plenty of true blue friends (as well as lovely FB friends) and they are happy for me as I am equally happy for them at all of their good news. The solution is as simple as hitting the unfriend button and I have done it several times. I have even read people ranting about other people’s “perfect” lives, and I just boil because I know that some like me, just share the positive, good news, and the sad or bad news stays private. No one really knows what another person has endured, or deserves. It should be judgement-free, and I do my best to keep it positive on my posting and commenting.
- Since FB is social media sharing – celebrating events and the accomplishments of my loved ones should not be considered bragging. I revel in my friends’ good news and in their children’s and grandchildren’s accomplishments. I am sorry if there is something lacking in another’s life that makes it seem like bragging, but I am sharing my happiness with a supportive community. As an example, I just had my first grandchild, via my husband’s oldest son and wife. Before that though, and even with being an envious grandma-wanna-be, I absolutely delighted in dozens of friends posts about their adorable grandchildren. AS ANOTHER EXAMPLE: I have a few friends who are traveling the world, posting their adventures for all of us to enjoy. I have one FB friend, a philanthropic man who I respect and admire; (and for whom the entire synagogue campus is named after due to his generosity) who is a gazillion-aire. He jets off on his private plane to his ranch in Aspen, spends once a month on vacation in a luxurious exotic retreat, and recently spent a week on a yacht. And yet, he is enjoying his life and sharing his joy, and I enjoy seeing his posts. Another lives a life in show business that many would envy, hobnobbing with the rich and mostly famous – his wonderful existence on full display for all of his old friends to see. I am thrilled for his happiness and have pride in his accomplishments and love that he shares. Could there be envy of these lifestyles and adventures, or that of my world-traveling friends? Of course there could be by others, but I don’t see it that way at all. And I would bet most are like me. SHARE your happiness and joy, we don’t mind at all. In fact for every one Debbie Downer negative person about my positivism and happy news, there are 20 reveling and celebrating with me.
- This one creeps me out though it should not since I post most details of my life. When I go to a community event, or even synagogue, where warm and wonderful people who I do not see often or regularly socialize with, give me a big hello and a hug or kiss, I no longer need to spend catch-up time on my current events. This saves a lot of time as they can rattle off all of the significant events of my life, since they obviously closely follow all my FB posts. I have to say though, it always startles me when people who don’t comment on my posts know everything I am up to. I just am never prepared but it is equal parts flattering as it is creepy, that people follow my life events. (I am a frequent liker, lately using the love button for lots of things, and a frequent commenter so everyone knows I have visited them and their good news or share.)
Okay, ready for your feedback. Let me hear from you!