Husband Follies Episode #60 – Botulism and Sausage!
Here we are again with another episode of Husband Follies. If you haven’t read the other two, you MUST! They are linked here and here.
My quirky husband Gary has become vigilant about food products we buy. Corn syrup is out, apparently it is the enemy. Non-organic fruits, veggies, meats, you name it are also out. In fact, he does the shopping because this is so very important to him. He reads labels vigorously.
So when we were out of jelly a while ago, I ran to the store as I needed some that minute. Being in a rush (as always) I picked up what I thought was a healthy one, although it did NOT state that it was organic.
My husband went ballistic (a mild description) when he read the label and found some preservatives he did not care to eat. He wanted jelly then, and he was not about to eat the “Poison” I bought. He was plenty aggravated. So was I by the end of the conversation, and I ran out and got him organic jelly after getting a lecture.
Just days before this episode however, my husband found a piece of pie (store bought with who knows WHAT PRESERVATIVES) left over in the refrigerator from a month earlier. That’s right, you read that correct. ONE MONTH OLD.
And my husband took that piece of pie with probable botulism, mold spores, and possibly the black plague, and ate every bite.
Just this week, he ate a slice of meatloaf sitting there for over a week. I don’t know about you but no matter how great your refrigeration system works, meatloaf is not at it’s prime a week later. (no preservatives in that)
In the meantime, I am worried about him contracting something awful like food poisoning, botulism, or some crazy bacteria that will fester in his intestines due to the oldy, moldy leftovers he eats.
One time he opened up cream cheese and there was a beautiful blue and green mold on the top. He wanted to scrape that part off and use what was underneath. I am not kidding.
In addition, the things (junk) he puts in his stomach sometimes floor me because he is so vigilant about labels and products he buys. For example, he eats the most poor version of fast food, kolaches – deep fried in old oil with all kinds of sausage in them. And who knows WHAT is in that sausage! (I never eat fast food or touch sausage) Hot dogs too – he loves them.
So there you have it. No, he will not tolerate jelly with pectin, bean gum, and sodium benzorbate (or something to that effect made him crazed) but he will tolerate some yucky bacteria from old food. And eat garbage food.
Like I said he is a quirky guy.
Enjoyed this and it must be the generation my husband eats and acts the same way.
My son – different story!
The story is a long one, but let’s just say my husband Jim once uttered the line, “On “Survivor” they’d eat it!”
This blog was so funny, Arlene! I loved reading the part about how he eats all the old food in the refrigerator. When he was out visiting us in Philly recently, I was talking to him about how he eats so “clean” in the house, yet he has posted pictures of the deli foods he eats when he goes out. I questioned him about he how he justifies those things to himself. He said, “Oh, but that’s only once in awhile.” I see the irony! Hahaha.
In defense of me:
1. Most of the food I eat is healthy and organic but that does not make up 100% of the food I eat. Maybe 80%
2. I do eat out and some of those meals are not made with the healthiest ingredients
3. I do not care how old something is, so long as it has been kept refrigerated or frozen. We have an excellent Sub Zero that can keep food decent for as long as that is possible
4. The pie was from Royer’s in Round Top. Actually from their newer Royer’s Pie Haven about a block away from the original location. Check it out, https://royerspiehaven.com. We had the mixed berry pie. All natural ingredients, no preservatives and mmmmm…good! Had it with all natural, vanilla bean ice cream.
5. The meatloaf was tasty, but something I rarely eat. Was on the run, hadn’t eaten lunch and thought throwing that on a roll and eating it in the car was far healthier than a fast food meal. Yes, I know I’m right on that one, thank you.
6. Not all mold on foods can harm you. Search for yourself if you want to hold me accountable, or guilty as charged.
7. I only eat good kolaches and they are NOT FRIED ARLENE! Maybe the apple fritter I wash it down with is not so good, but it has apples!
8. I do love hot dogs and only buy all natural, all beef hot dogs from free range meat that has been fed a vegetarian diet. I’ll eat them out, but not often.
9. Yes, I am very quirky.
10. Expiration dates are meaningless to me.
Let me guess…….you think milk is still good days after the expiration date, right? And I know not all mold can harm me but it’s still just gross. I like for the food that I eat to look good and fresh. If I’ve seen it molded or know it’s a little old, I can not eat it. After my reply to Arlene’s story, the very next day my husband mentioned just scraping off the top of something so he could eat it and I told him to do what he wanted but I was not eating it. I couldn’t believe the timing. Lastly, nice to hear from the Mr.
Yep, he thinks food is good after expiration dates! And he enjoyed hearing from you!
I can not believe he is that particular about jelly but will eat a one month old piece of pie! I can’t stop shaking my head at that one. It makes zero sense. You’re going to have to make him explain how he works that out in his head because it’s really going to bother me. LOL. My husband will eat anything and I have also seen him “scrape off” anything growing on something he wants to eat. It grosses me out and I have to leave the room and not watch him. I tell him all the time he’s lucky I kiss that mouth of his because of the old food he doesn’t care to eat. He’s the main cook in our house so I have to really watch what he makes and try to keep up with the dates on things. He keeps every ketchup, mayo and mustard packet he gets and seems to think those will last forever. His desk drawer is full of them. We work together and sometimes, if I need salt for my lunch, he will send me to his desk drawer but I’m not kidding, even the salt packets feel odd.
Oh Vicky – you made me laugh so hard! these men are so funny!