Mother’s Day and Step-Moms and Moms

I am a very lucky mom indeed.

I have two wonderful children who are my very own, and so I get to celebrate Mother’s Day with them. In fact, just having two great kids like mine is the ultimate gift.

(You would think that means I wouldn’t want a tangible gift in that case, and I wish I could say I was that unselfish!)

I also have three step-children, and though I hate to even put the words STEP in front of them as that designation, I actually call them my bonus kids.  I don’t expect them to celebrate me at all. I often celebrate having them in my life and the fact that they are family is good enough of a designation Still, I came into their lives when they were grown, and so no mothering was required on my part. They have a mother who they rightly celebrate on Mother’s Day.

Of course I feel maternally towards them, as that is the most natural feeling I can summon. I feel pride in them, but can’t take credit for their success either.

Two times blessed with my own incredible children who have made me the happiest mom around. Five times blessed with wonderful kids in total. That’s how I look at Mother’s Day.

Not that I exempt my own kids from properly acknowledging me. I They know better and besides, I miss those days of innocent unconditional love and devotion and homemade cards and illustrations. They don’t  tell me I am the “mommiest of mommies” (true saying by my son) because they are all grown up too. So tangible gifts are nice in lieu of that.

If you have raised or even partially raised step-kids, I understand how you might feel very differently than me. And I do think that stepmoms who do that important and loving job should be properly acknowledged on Mother’s Day.

So whether you are a Mom, Step-Mom, combo of both, or even a surrogate mom, have the best Mother’s Day ever. I have to close this blog out with an illustration of me made by my daughter at the tender age of five. Notice that she pictured me surrounded by hearts. This is my all time favorite because that’s how much she thought of her mom’s output of love – making it the greatest gift ever.


  • As a stepmom, I really appreciated this one, Arlene! well done!

  • My sister has three step-children and she like you has found a special relationship with all of them without encroaching upon their own mother’s territory. She is content being just another special person (like an aunt) in their lives. And, they love her for it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *