Why I Don’t Need Any Mom Do-Overs, Thank You

It’s another Mother’s Day gone by and first and foremost, I want to wish every deserving mom a very happy and joyous Mother’s Day. Breathe in the love and gratitude ladies — you have earned it!

I often post photos of my kids on social media sites of times when they were much younger, for things like Way Back Wednesday, Throwback Thursday and even Flashback Friday. Quite often someone will say, don’t you wish you could go back in time and re-live those days? The years just flew by, and some say they go by too swiftly, and at one point I would have agreed.

Now my answer to wishing I could go back to the days of my children’s youth is a resounding NO, though it was very different when I was a slightly depressed new Empty Nester

Not that I did not relish each and every moment of my children’s youth, give or take a few in the teen realm.  I live life with a gusto and high energy, and approached motherhood the same way. I was a bit over the top, a bit over-involved, a bit of a helicopter mom. Now, looking back I am glad I was. It meant that I lived in the moment and knew the years were fleeting; I knew to get a slice of every experience while I could.

If there was an event, a project, a cause, an organization or club, a game, a performance, an extra-curricular, a school event etc, I was not only there, I was often in charge so I could spend more hours relishing the moments when they were happening at that time. My home was the gathering place, our pool was the pool party place, the birthdays parties were always big; the celebrations and holidays the same.

I think my kids would agree with the above summary and assessment. (They used to tell me I was the “Mommiest” Mommy) I was the mom who took the girls on the Cheer cruise; the mom who took the girls to Cabo for senior Spring Break where they totally ditched me; the mom who was a soccer and Little League and basketball and Maccabi mom. I was the After Prom chair mom, the room mom, the Field Trip mom. I was the school show coordinator mom, the Graduation video mom, and the Cheerleader for a Day camp mom. It was all done lovingly with the intention to not miss out on a single experience of their youth. I drank it in, I breathed it in. I truly enjoyed each and every moment of their active lives.

And believe it or not, I was a working mom too. I’m exhausted just remembering all of that!

No wasted moments for me, so no need for do-overs.

Not that I wouldn’t adore grandchildren someday to do all those wonderful things with – I plan to be the same in that role for everything, that high-energy ultra-involved bubbie (grandmom) for any and all grandchildren when my turn comes.

Since I loved and participated in every single moment of raising my children, I am completely satiated, especially when I look back and consider the entirety of it all. But here’s the biggest point, and the real reason for this blog I am writing today. (It is not to tout how over-the-top of a mom that I was.)

I am still relishing every moment. Now that my children are adults, I am enjoying every minute of my relationship with them as a mom to an adult child. They have turned out to be two of the coolest people on Earth as far as I am concerned. If I was choosing a friend, a conversant, a confidante, someone to laugh with, or someone to spend precious time with, I would choose them over anyone else. It is that much fun being their parent at this stage of their lives.

Yes, instead of figuring out multiple carpools for them, chauffeuring non-stop amid juggling schedules, I am just enjoying the time I spend with them in adult conversation and activities. It’s so much fun and it gives me opportunities to continue to relish this stage as much as I did previous stages of their lives.

So that’s my reason why I wouldn’t want to go back to those innocent days of their youth. It was fun while it lasted, and what lies ahead will be just as enjoyable.


  • Arlene, I wouldn’t go back for a second!! Like you, I was a room mother every year, Brownie/Girl Scout Leader for 8 years, etc. etc. It was all a lot of fun until the high school years. Too many late nights waiting for the band bus to pull in to the parking lot at 1:00a.m., too much stress waiting to hear the garage door go up when Kimberly got her driver’s license, etc. I much prefer being a “Mimi”!! Lots of fun but no stress!

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