Detoxing and Cleansing the System the Hard Way!

I can count the number of times I have had stomach upsets or nausea in my adult life and it would not even equal to the digits on one hand. I am pretty sturdy stock and aside from pregnancies I don’t experience nausea hardly at all.

So when I do, when that insidious, awful feeling creeps up, I am fearful. This is my knee-jerk response since childhood, fearing what might come and hoping upon all hope to quell the queasiness. I hate to even use the word vomit, but it is not something I want to do even to end that horrific nausea feeling and get that momentary relief.

This time, though, as I exited an early evening yoga class, I kind of knew I wasn’t imagining my upset stomach. I knew I was actually nauseous, but I could not figure out why, so I ignored it.

The food poisoning, Montezuma’s revenge in full fury, came just an hour or so later. So violent was this episode, that when I was completely devoid of anything left in my body, I still did not feel relief. My husband’s bout started a few hours later – just as violent and gross. Without getting graphic, the girl in the Exorcist had nothing on us, and you can use the word projectile as well.

The next day, a limp noodle had more energy than the two of us combined. We were spent, feeling awful, languishing between fitful naps. This episode was not for the wimpy.

Slowly, we found out that 8 of our relatives and friends that had brunch in a certain restaurant with us the day before – that I am about to name if they don’t make good, also contracted the food poisoning. Most of us had it pretty bad, where food is not even a distant daydream for days.

I went three days without coffee, without my beloved chocolate, and with just water and then finally just applesauce and bananas towards the latter part of that period. My body was as sparkling clean inside, as detoxed, and as clear, as it would be perhaps in my entire history.

While I had headaches throughout (caffeine withdrawal) I was fearful of starting up with coffee. I thought to myself, why not take this opportunity to give up coffee for good since the withdrawal would be completed? Why not give up the carbs, the sugar, the chocolate too? I was feeling absolutely skinny, and organically brand new, so why not?

I mean, here I was, completely cleansed within, so it was an absolute consideration to perhaps continue detoxing my body for a week or even long-term.

Nah. That’s not going to happen. First of all, the recommended post diet is full of white carbs, otherwise known as the mortal enemy of all mankind. (The enemy part is a fact, though very sad and unfortunate in my estimation.) We started with white bread, white potatoes, white saltine crackers (delicous!) and some white rice for good measure. (Also egg whites.) And though I profess to be madly in love with my carbs and sugars, (see this fun blog on it) it was annoying eating only the white stuff.

My sweet niece, who unfortunately was one of the eight unlucky ones, went on a vacation to Puerto Rico just days later. After a normal meal there and a relapse, she posted photos of her meals of big bowls of white rice, poor thing.

I know my body pretty well, and I built up to a normal meal without any relapse or harmful effects. I did bring my saltines to a movie theater though, opting out of popcorn for that. I really re-discovered saltines, they are way under appreciated as a snack food in my opinion!!

So here we are at the end of 2015, a year which brought a flood and the loss of my family home, the loss of a few critical members of my family, and to end this horrid year on just the right note, a bout of food poisoning during my work vacation time.

NOTE: Although 2015 was the above, I must say that at the end of year my daughter became engaged in the most beautiful way, an absolute high point in my life, and where my heart came out of my chest in happiness for her. And to add to our happiness, our son Adam became engaged as well.

Bring on 2016 already! I am so relieved to put this sad year behind me and start anew. Bring on happy events like weddings! Wishing all of my readers a very, very happy and healthy year ahead in 2016.


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